Thursday, November 3, 2011

::Sacraments in Blue::

  A monumental occurrence a few weeks back is remembered tonight. Memory is where I begin to let all of it go. Life has a tendency to happen. Not the life we live everyday, but the musical life. The pacing of heart strings. The staccato of taking the steps towards something big. Something real and removed from the maudlin melodies of our everyday. I love to dance. I live for music and the musicality of moments, of life, of being. We all have our strengths. We all have our methods. We all have our fall back graces.
   I have been told that I change the air where I go. I bring with me a natural ease of being, of voice, of openness. I am a free form bridge to whatever melody I happen to pick up and put my hands on. This day, it was you. Everything starts innocently enough doesn't it? A barrage of conversation to intrigue, to invite, to line up the possible, to lie about our intentions. Days speed steady and then I arrive.
   You open the door to your home, your world, your heart without realizing it yet. I glaze over, to hide all this from myself. I never know if I'm interested in more than what makes me curious. The sound of the new and unfamiliar, the novelty of fresh company, of an unknown body of compositions still unplayed and unspoiled. Tonight, it was you and I was surprised. Your sounds matched mine beat by beat and note by note. The chords were struck heavy and hard. A natural ease spread between us like sugar powder falling on the folds of an irresistible cake. I do have a sweet tooth.
   There is something very familiar about all this...but I brush it off and focus on the new. I have a particular way about me. I sit still, I speak evenly, I give very little but spread something deep into the air. It opens your your chest, relaxes, strokes, lays you open. A melody unregistered, not played intentionally, but it is there. It folds out under our words, the outstretching of our fingers, through the scales of our stories and the comfort that builds between our bodies. Tonight, it's us.
   The hours race by. It's getting later and later and we are ready to sleep. The scent of blue roses haunts your room. A smell I am very familiar with from a magic I know very well. The smell and sound of smoke and breath and laughter soaks the spaces between your fingers with sadness. The sadness is my own. I let you kiss me. We roll around. I am not breaking any of my rules. We are lit up by a blue light shining out from the center of the bed. The bed becomes a temple. It seals the beginning of our composition. We are really here. We are really feeling something. I've really done it now.
   Through your bodies pulses and pressings you are hot like cinders freezing in the blue. The sadness strikes me solidly. My skin flushes with goosebumps and anticipation as you release a sea of moist notes. They seal the end of things in the body, the beginning of things in the heart, that then begin the focus of your eyes on me. The scent of blue roses hangs itself heavy with silence and mood. You look at me now, with deepness. I betray myself with agreements. I only speak the truth. I am here. I am here with you now. There is always that place beneath that knows I am a creature hard to secure. I know it's there, and I think you do too.
   I do love the way you feel. Your eyes. Your hands. Your kisses. All of this makes me comfortable because attractions I am good at. Desires are easy. They aren't fixed. I know how to charm, create a world of fire and mystery and curiosity. I try not to see where this is going. I try not to hear all our inner connections playing out for each other because there is so much more happening than either of us want or expect.
   The magical blue knew before I did. I didn't for a second see this coming. The room's ablaze in blue. It is a testament to need. We lay bare and intertwined and together because that night it was only us. The light at the center of the room becomes a blanket and in it I let myself fall in a way I've never really let myself fall before. I close my eyes listening to a symphony of your snores. I sink into the calm and forget the sadness that hangs in the air. We lay bare, intertwined, and together in a room of blue. All these blue visions, blue dreams, and that blue light. We are centered and surrounded by it. We sleep inside the eye of the hurricane and whether we knew it then or not everything had been illuminated.

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